From the Pastor’s Desk
Dear St. Mary’s Parishioners,
What is a Christian community?
It’s a question that I’ve continually pondered. What makes a Christian community different from all the other groups that my life is composed of? When you think about it, our lives are made up of various groups, some that are intertwined with others, some completely separate. The most obvious community that first comes to mind is our family. We are all born into families; in fact this is our first community. We do not choose our family members, as much as we may want to at times, especially when they get on our nerves. This first “community” is founded by blood and sustained by love.
The next most common community is similar. They are our friends. The network of people we willingly choose to spend time with. The great ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle delineated three categories of friendships: (1) Friendship of Utility (2) Friendship of Pleasure and (3) Friendship of Virtue. The first relationship is derived from mutual benefit, a means to an end. They use one another for something they could not otherwise receive. It’s the shallowest of friendships because it exists insofar as the advantage persists.
The second type of friendship, as the name suggests, brings enjoyment to our lives. Built on similar values, they help define who we are and make us feel at home. They give us a powerful sense of identity. Aristotle sometimes calls this “friendships for the young” because they can easily fall away when our values and tastes change, as they often do when we mature.
Final category is the noblest of them all. They are rooted in the inherent value of the other as a person to be loved, apart from any personal benefit they may receive. These friendships strive for a higher good above themselves. They challenge one another to seek this goodness apart from any selfish need. They seek to grow in virtue together.
Which of these categories matches the heart of the Christian community? It’s the Friendship of Virtue. However, the highest good here is not something, but rather “someone”. It is Christ himself. Christian relationship is founded upon Jesus and strives to be more in union with him. It’s far above any personal tastes or whims. Rather, the Christian seeks Christ first and then invites others to do so. All other behavior and actions flow from this lofty goal. As St. Paul beautifully reminds us in the most famous Scripture reading for weddings tells us: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” (Cf. 1 Corinthians 13:4-6). This type of friendship is the hardest of them all to build. It requires blood, sweat, and tears. It forces me to die to myself every single day. Even though it’s the most challenging, I say we do it anyway.
Fr. Brian J. Soliven
